Lucidity
by Chiisarin
Summary: Roxas never merged with Sora. Instead...he somehow ended up in a place called Hollow Bastion.
1. Chapter 1

A chakram at his throat.

"Axel…"

Once, this man in front of him was his best friend. But not anymore.

Enemies.

Axel gives a bitter smile.

"Let's meet again in the next life."

And somehow, just with that, he knows everything is going to be okay.

Roxas lowers his keyblades, accepting his defeat.

"Yeah, I'll be waiting."

He closes his eyes.

And waits.

Nothing.

No blow comes.

Roxas opens his eyes, only to see—

**He's falling.**

Falling into darkness.

Right before the portal closes up, Roxas swears that he can hear Axel speak.

"Silly. Just because you have a next life…"

And then…no more.

* * *

"_Wh__**at **__is__**sp**__eci_**al **abou_**t yo**__u_?"

Roxas rolls over, covering his ears. The voice was too loud, too clogged, he was too tired, he didn't want to wake up, he didn't want to—

_Bed_. He's in a _bed_.

His eyes flash open.

"_**Ga**__wd_, the**y'r**_**e**__ alwa_ys ke**e**_**pin**_g _sec_ret_s_ fro_m me."_

Unfamiliar room. Unfamiliar voice.

And who was that girl…?

Oh crap, she's staring at him.

"You're awake!"

And before he can blink, she's tackling him to shreds. Or at least it seems like she is.

"Ha, I get to talk to you before Squall does. So tell me, are you really Cloud's brother?"

It was way too early. Sane people aren't supposed to be awake this early, much less talk.

(He conveniently ignores the dusk sky outside the window)

"…Me…what…?"

Smooth talking Roxas, courtesy of lack of sleep.

"Cloud's brother! Are you really Cloud's brother? You know, the big tall angsty guy with gravity-defying hair? Kinda like yours…"

Cloud. Person? Who? What?

He groans and rubs his eyes, clearing his vision.

"…Where am I? What happened?"

Suddenly, he's awake.

There's too many questions filling head.

He finds his gaze upon the girl. She reminded him of Olette somehow … vaguely … maybe not.

"Who are you?"

The girl lets out a frustrated groan.

"Oh don't tell me you're amnesiac or something. Just when I thought things were getting interesting…I might as well get Aerith."

The girl flops out her chair unceremoniously and strides towards the door.

"Hey wait…"

But she's already gone.

* * *

Not a minute passes and someone comes back into the room; a woman. She exudes a warm, motherly but childish aura, wrapping Roxas in a warm blanket of comfort. It almost reminded him of…

…Home.

He has no home.

"My, you're looking better. That's good. How are you feeling?"

Eloquent Roxas speaks the first word in his mind.

"Confused."

Immediately, he mentally slaps himself, realizing that that probably wasn't the answer she was looking for.

"I mean…a bit tired, but fine nonetheless."

She smiles.

"That's good. Do you mind if I give you a short check-up?"

Roxas straightens his back as he shakes his head. The woman immediately begins to work, a green glow surrounding her hands.

For a moment there is silence.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, that's right. I haven't introduced myself. I'm Aerith. And you?"

He almost said Sora.

"R-roxas."

Aerith stops for a moment before going on, chuckling to herself.

"Hmm, I guess I was expecting something like Storm or Star to go along with Cloud's name."

Cloud. That name again. Definitely a person.

Quiet.

Questions. He has too many questions and he wants answers. But he is silent.

Aerith pulls away.

"There, you seem to be alright. Do you think you're ready to get out of bed? The others have questions."

He wants to say no. He wants to yell, "No, I'm not ready! I'm tired and confused and I have no idea what's going on and I just want to get away and LEAVE ME ALONE."

But he doesn't.

He gives an awkward nod, and pushes himself out of bed.

Aerith leads the way, a smile on her face. The smile almost scares him. Like it's too genuine to be real, to be true.

She stops at a door and turns to face him, a teasing look on her face.

"Don't worry, I won't let them bully you too much."

And she opens the door to chaos.

* * *

…Or rather, chaos of silence.

That scary silence where everyone is staring at you.

Almost like a calm before the storm.

"Everyone," Aerith announces. "This is Roxas."

Silence. Dot dot dot. Roxas feels like shying away, or maybe even hiding behind Aerith. (Perhaps the pink dress will blind them all.)

A cough.

"I'm Leon."

With a rather off-beat start, he realizes that a hand is being held out to him. He shakes it, saying nothing as he gives a subdued acknowledging nod.

The calm is broken, and suddenly everyone starts introducing themselves.

"Cid."

"I am Merlin."

Everyone, save for one.

"And that," Aerith points to the girl from earlier, currently sulking in a corner. "Is Yuffie."

From the corner, Yuffie can heard mumbling, "…GREAT Ninja Yuffie to you…"

Aerith pays her no attention and claps her hands together.

"Great, now that we are all introduced...First, Roxas is there anything you—Oh, Cloud. Come on in."

Roxas follows her gaze and turns around to see what she is looking to. A man leans in the doorframe, silent. Roxas wonders when he entered.

So this is Cloud.

He can honestly say that Cloud looks like he can be his older brother.

He had the same blue eyes, the same feminine face shape, the same gravity-defying hair…

"Cloud, you're back. Are you going to stay this time…?" Leon asks.

Cloud shakes his head.

"No…Just visiting."

And before he knows it, Cloud has crossed the room and has placed a hand on Roxas' shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Roxas blinks. For some reason, around this man he feels…

…feels like he has a kindred spirit near him.

"Y-yeah. What happened?"

Cloud gives Roxas a long look.

"…We'll talk later."

And suddenly, the moment is broken as Cloud takes his hand off Roxas' shoulder. Cloud turns to Aerith.

"Do you mind if I stay the night?"

Aerith gives a delighted smile.

"No, not at all."

Leon gets up with a sigh.

"I guess we'll save the questions for later. …Is something burning?"

Roxas sniffs the air, and finds that there is a faint smell of burnt food lingering. Aerith slaps her face gently in reprimand.

"Oh dear, I forgot! My food!"

* * *

"Dinner is served,. Bon appetit!"

With a satisfied look, Aerith ushers everyone to the table.

"Food!" The girl—_Yuffie?_—squeals, rushing to the table. And then stops. "Oh crap. Aerith…did you cook this?"

Aerith nods proudly.

"Yup! I did it without Leon's help too!" She says, beaming happily. Everyone, save for Cloud and Roxas, gives a little cringe.

The food…looked…funny. Nearly completely burnt…almost alive…did that vegetable just move?

Roxas takes a hesitant step forward.

"Wow…this looks…_great_."

He tries to smile.

Aerith doesn't notice his discomfort.

"Oh, you're too sweet. Now all of you, don't be shy! Dig in!"

No one moves.

Cricket cricket.

"OH YEAH, Aerith! _Gawd_, I forgot I have something to show you!" Yuffie exclaims loudly, suddenly very much trying to move Aerith. "C'mon! C'mon!"

"Yuffie, wha—Mmm!"

Aerith is shushed as Yuffie puts a finger to her mouth.

"_It's girl stuff_." Yuffie stage whispers.

For a split second, it looks like Aerith isn't going to move, when she gives in.

"Oh, alright." She says good-naturedly, letting Yuffie lead her out.

Roxas lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Leon goes to pick up the phone

"Does pizza sound alright?"

* * *

"…Oh my. Did you eat it all?"

"Yes, we did. And it was _so _good, that we ordered for more food. Want some pizza? We have some left." Cid drawls, his back facing Aerith so she wouldn't detect his lie.

Yuffie makes a victory pose.

"Alright! You rock old man!"

"It wasn't me, it was Leon."

"Alright! You rock, Squall!"

"It's Leon."

Yuffie waves him off.

"Whatever. So, kid, I've been meaning to ask, are you really Cloud's brother?"

"Of course, he's not." Leon cuts in. "Cloud doesn't have a brother."

"And how would you know that?"

"I grew up with him. So did you."

"Really? I don't remember him. Hmph. Don't think you can trick me."

"Obviously you don't. Of course, you were always too busy thinking of…what was his name? Vincent?"

"Hey, Vincent was so much hotter and cooler than you'll ever be…"

Roxas shuffles to Aerith.

"Are they always like this?"

She nods.

"Pretty much. Don't worry, it's their way of showing their love for each other."

She stops talking, and puts on a knowing smile.

"Of course, in a brotherly-sisterly sense, if you know what I mean."

Roxas nods.

"Yeah…I know exactly what you mean."

_Haynar. Pence. Olette._

Aerith suddenly claps her hands together.

"Ah! It's late! Everyone you should start getting ready to go to sleep." She turns toward Roxas. "We'll talk about your situation in the morning, okay?"

He nods. She then turns to Cloud.

"Cloud, you're staying right? Why don't you share a room with Roxas then? Here I'll show you."

* * *

Roxas turns. And turns.

He can't sleep.

He turns to the body at the opposing bed.

"Hey…Cloud…you still awake?"

Quiet. Then, a response:

"Mmm."

A moment passes.

"What happened? How did I get here?"

Another moment passes.

"…I found you by the postern, unconscious. I brought you to Aerith so she could heal you. I told them you were my younger brother, so they wouldn't get suspicious of you."

"…Why?"

Cloud shrugs.

"I don't know. I guess you remind me of myself."

Roxas furrows his brow, trying to understand.

"Remind you…How?"

Cloud turns to face him.

"You're searching too, aren't you? For your light…"

Sora suddenly flashes in his mind.

Roxas smiles.

"Yeah…I guess I am."

They are quiet for a while.

"By the way, where am I?"

* * *

Aerith is the first one to greet him as he comes down to breakfast.

"Good morning Roxas. Here, let me get some breakfast. Leon for some reason, insisted on cooking this time…"

Roxas nods a good morning in return.

"Ah, thank you."

Aerith smiles (of course, as she's always smiling) in response.

"Sleep well?"

"…Yeah."

First time in days that he had a dreamless sleep. No memories of Sora, nothing. He was almost grateful for it.

He begins to eat, silently thanking that Leon's cooking tasted quite decent. Slowly, he gets lost in thought.

He wonders what he's going to do today…tomorrow…what's going to happen now…

—Aerith is staring at him.

Roxas suddenly notices curious emerald eyes looking at him.

"I-Is something wrong?"

Aerith blinks before grinning wider.

"You really do act like Cloud. Always spacing out…it's quite cute. Oh, that reminds me, I should wake up him up."

"No need."

Roxas turns to see a…_frazzled _looking Cloud. The man slugs to a seat, his back slouched. His hair is messier than usual (apparently it's possible), and his eyes are half-lidded, like he's drugged.

Roxas hides a grin. It somehow was reassuring to see the seemingly intimidating man have another side.

"Cloud, good morning!"

Roxas wonders if she purposely made her voice bright and chirpy just to annoy Cloud.

"I'll go get you some breakfast."

"No need." Cloud cuts in again.

(Somewhere distantly in his mind, Roxas explores the possibility of Cloud being a broken robot or android.)

Cloud gets up.

"I should be going."

_Then why did you sit down in the first place_?

Aerith frowns. Roxas suddenly has the urge to jump up and shout: "The smile is gone!"

"Alright…"

And the smile is back. Roxas feels oddly defeated.

"But you'll come back right?"

Cloud is facing the other direction, his back suddenly straight.

"Yeah…Always."

And he walks out of the door, closing it behind him softly.

As if he was never there…

Roxas hears Aerith sigh.

"…that guy…"

Roxas too finds himself oddly enough wishing that Cloud didn't go. He almost seemed like a—

"**Cloud Strife! **I _finally _found you!"

And suddenly, the door is slamming open to reveal an unfamiliar (scary) woman, Cloud in tow.

"Tifa…"

* * *

AN: First KH fic, so I'm kinda scared. Plus, I never played the first game (though I did beat the second, finally). Yeah, I'm a bit afraid to post this cause I know there's going to be a zillion plotholes (I bet there already are some) and then there's the fact that I have no idea where I'm going with this. Also, I think I might have made some of the characters (Roxas especially) OOC. Oh dear.

But this is just so fun to write. Please give me feedback.


	2. Chapter 2

"Riku." 

"It's Ansem."

Naminé sighs, but complies.

"…Ansem. I'm going to leave."

Riku's eyes widen slightly, and suddenly his full attention is on the girl.

"I don't…I'm going to find Roxas. And I'm going to help him."

"What? There are so many worlds out there…He can be anywhere!"

Naminé looks away, but keeps a stubborn frown on her face.

"And what about Sora? And DiZ?"

Her eyes flash at the names, her hands curling into fists and suddenly her emotionless face is filled with ice.

"Nobodies aren't just beings without hearts…We have emotions too! We should be allowed to exist too, not just be fated to end up back in darkness!"

"But Roxas wouldn't be…He'll be with Sora."

"As a parasite, unable to do anything? It's the same and you know it."

Riku finds himself cringing in guilt, though he says nothing.

Naminé stares at him, waiting. Then, as if realizing that he's not going to say anything, she lets out a disappointed sigh.

"I just wanted to say goodbye."

She turns away, opening a portal of darkness. As she's about to step in, Riku finds himself calling out to her.

"Wait."

She stops, but doesn't turn.

"I'll inform you if we find anything new. Sora has existed without Roxas before…I'm sure DiZ and I can find another way to wake him up."

He can see her straighten in surprise. Her head almost swivels around to face him, but stops.

She is silent.

Then—

He can almost hear that slight smile of hers in her voice.

"Thank you, Riku."

And she's gone.

* * *

"So…I assume you're staying?" Leon says, an almost smirk on his face. (Roxas noticed that Leon was never the one to fully brag. It was always subtle little jabs, but never an outright blow.)

Cloud returns the look, a glint in his eye.

"It appears so, for the moment."

Cloud was tied up to a chair, chained up by Tifa's special military knots. And Leon was apparently his bodyguard.

Tifa comes back into the room. Roxas unconsciously moves away as she gets near the chair that Cloud was tied to.

She pulls up her own chair and sits down before beginning her interrogation.

"Alright, Cloud. It's time for answers. Where the _hell _have you been the whole time?"

"…Searching."

Tifa's left eye visibly twitches.

"Searching? For what?"

"My light."

"Light, huh? You already have—Hmm?"

She stops talking, and suddenly, she has noticed Roxas. The angry look on her face is immediately replaced with a curious look, similar to the one that Aerith had worn that morning.

"Who are you? You weren't here last time I came to Hollow Bastion…"

She turns back to Cloud, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Is he your lovechild? I knew you and Aerith were close but…"

Roxas felt his (mental) heart stop.

"No! I'm just—"

"He's my brother," Cloud cuts in. Tifa raises an eyebrow.

"You don't have a brother."

Leon suddenly seems to be interested in the conversation, leaning forward slightly.

Cloud doesn't back down from her claim.

"I found him on the streets. He didn't have anywhere to go, so I took care of him until now."

Tifa looks unconvinced but she doesn't say anything.

"What? So now you're leaving him here?"

"He has a place to stay now."

Tifa, seemingly annoyed with her findings, turns to her new target: Roxas.

"Well, what do you have to say about it?"

Roxas startled, takes a moment to process the question.

"A-about what?"

Tifa looks scarily like a tiger, Roxas notices.

"Do you want Cloud to stay or not?"

He wonders if maybe there is a way somehow get away from the scary woman. (Not counting the portals of darkness. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to use that here, obviously.)

"Well…I'd ask him to stay, but—"

Tifa stops listening and turns back to Cloud.

"Look! He wants you to stay! Why are you always running off, from your friends, from your _family_? Aren't we enough?"

Cloud merely stares back, his face blank, almost distant.

"This is something I must do alone." He says calmly.

"But that doesn't mean you have to push all of us away! Nine years…._Nine years_ you were gone! And how many times did you contact us? Come to visit us?"

She pauses for a moment, as if expecting him to say something. When he does not, she goes on.

"Well, if I can't make you stay,I'll get someone who can. Leon, untie him."

She stalks out of the room, and Roxas can immediately feel himself relax. Leon catches this and laughs.

"She's pretty scary, isn't she," Leon comments. "She's usually not like that."

Somehow, he doubts that.

"In fact, she's quite a bit like Aerith."

Roxas snorts.

Somehow, he doubts that even more.

Leon notices Roxas' incredulous look, and chuckles.

"Don't worry, it's only when she's around Cloud that she's like this."

"You make me feel so special sometimes, Leon." Cloud replies, a slight grimace on his face. As Leon finishes untying the knots, Cloud gets up and brushes off.

"Yeah…Well, you better go before—"

* * *

"Cloud? Is it true? Tifa said you wanted to stay but was too shy to ask…"

Aerith is unable to say anything else, as she is…was on the verge of tears. Now she's just plain crying and choking up, though she tries to hide it.

Roxas hesitantly goes to her side.

"Er…Of course he's going to stay…"

(Roxas silently sends his apologies to Cloud)

He turns to Cloud, obviously at unease.

"…Right?"

Tifa comes up, an evil grin on her face.

"Cloud…You wouldn't leave now, would you?"

Her voice drops a notch.

"Especially now that you made Aerith cry…"

* * *

"If I knew that that was all I had to do to make you stay, I would have done it a long time ago. Alright, here are your ID cards." Leon says, handing them to Cloud and Roxas.

"ID cards…for what?" Roxas asks. It's Cloud who answers the question.

"…Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee…Helper?" Cloud looks up, a small smile in his eyes. (Because Cloud never really smiled with his mouth) "What? I don't get the title of Member?"

"Wait a few years before you ask that question." Leon replies. "Now, since you're new to this, you get today off. But tomorrow, you guys will start working, so you better enjoy your free time while you can."

Leon walks away, whistling.

"We start tomorrow, huh…" Cloud murmurs to himself. He turns to Roxas. "We should test out your abilities then. Can you fight?"

"Yeah…I think I'm decent with a blade."

"What type of blade?"

"…Well…"

He suddenly feels ashamed about the blue staffs that Hayner and him would use. They suddenly seemed so toy-like, kiddy and the fact that he didn't even know what they were called…or maybe that was the way he suddenly felt like about himself.

Cloud takes in Roxas' silence. He reaches into the back of his belt to pull out a thin blade.

"Here, does this feel alright?" He says, handing it to Roxas. "It's my backup blade, but I think you'll put it to better use."

Roxas takes a hold of it, testing the feel and grip.

"Yeah, this is pretty decent."

Cloud nods.

"Good. Now let's see what you can do."

* * *

He opens his eyes, and suddenly, it's as if all the Heartless have disappeared.

"You can…use the Keyblades?"

"What?"

The word leaves his mouth unbidden.

"What do you mean? Aren't I using your…"

He stops talking, suddenly noticing his surroundings. The sword that Cloud had lent him lies two feet in his hands, and in his hands…Yup, the Oblivion and Oathkeeper.

He looks towards Cloud's blank face.

"I can explain…"

* * *

_He had never realized how hard it was to fight Heartless. _

_Now, it did not take two hits to kill one. It took twenty._

_And somehow, though decent enough to use, the blade felt unnatural in his hands. _

_**Clang.**_

_He didn't hear anything. He didn't feel, see, do anything._

_There was a Heartless coming at him…and he wouldn't be able to protect himself in time._

* * *

"…When a person with a strong heart is turned into a Heartless, they turn into what is called a Nobody. And I'm the Nobody of a Keyblade Master…"

"…Sora?"

Roxas lights up.

"Do you know him?"

"…Yes."

"Have you—Have you seen him recently?"

He can almost see a thread, maybe a connection…

"No. It has been more than a year since I last encountered him."

Crushed.

He feels so hollow.

He wants to know this Sora, this person full of light, this person that that man so desperately wanted to save…

…The person he's supposed to be.

"Roxas. We better go back in before they come to get us. It'll be quite difficult to explain what happened."

Cloud then gets up and starts to walk back.

Somehow, it's as if hearing his name had somehow woken him from a dream.

Roxas can only stare dumbfounded.

"Wha—That's it? That's all you have to say about…this?"

Cloud stops, turning his head back to glance at Roxas.

"I have no right to judge those in darkness."

* * *

The scary woman—Tifa—is staring at him. He knows it, he feels it, he can see it out of the corner of his eye…

He cautiously glances at her.

_Zoom_.

It's like lightning flashing by him—her eyes are on the food.

With a small sigh, he resigns himself to trying to eat.

But he can still feel her stare…

"I'm done."

Cloud stands up and exits, bringing his bowl and chopsticks with him.

_I have no right to judge those in darkness_.

He had sounded so resigned, so fallen, so…tired. Giving up.

And what made Roxas sadder was that he understood _exactly_.

"Aerith…"

He's not sure if he should ask.

"Hmm?"

Aerith has such a bright, accepting face that Roxas somehow feels guilty.

"What happened to him? What made him so…"

He struggles to find a word and finds that he can't find one.

Cloud is Cloud.

Aerith gives a knowing look.

"Ah…Hmm…Well, maybe it'd be better if you ask him." She gives a sheepish smile. "I'm not too sure myself."

Roxas nods.

...And the stare is back.

* * *

He can't sleep yet again.

"Cloud…"

The man gives no answer.

"…What your favorite type of ice cream?"

It seemed like hours that he watched.

Finally, he turned back over, coming to the conclusion that Cloud was asleep. (Though it just didn't seem right. Cloud…asleep?)

"Vanilla ice cream."

The answer comes so suddenly that Roxas nearly jumps.

"With sprinkles."

* * *

AN: I hate these types of chapter where I have to explain things. I always write them so badly. (But yay, decent dialogue!) And Organization XIII is bugging me, 'cause I have NO idea how to fit them in into the (currently non-existent) plot. 


	3. Chapter 3

"_Roxas?"_

_With a start he jerks up. He looks around, wondering where he is. _

_He's sitting on a clocktower, warm cement beneath him…Twilight Town._

_The sky had never looked so beautiful to him._

"_Roxas? Hello?"_

_Such a familiar voice…_

"_Axel? Am I dreaming?"_

"_Of course. Why else would we be here?"_

_They are silent for a beat as they look at each other. _

"_The Organization thinks you're dead. I told them I killed you."_

"_That's good. Now I don't have to worry about Xigbar chasing after me…"_

_He tries to smile._

"…_Hey, are you alright? Wherever you are?"_

_He thinks of Cloud._

"_Yeah. I think I am."_

* * *

Roxas sighs, wiping the sweat off his face. He had been back in Twilight Town, back with Axel, and everything… 

Everything seemed alright.

He never knew how much he really missed that place until now. He never knew that he missed that clock tower (despite the fact that he had always been a little freaked out by the height), he never knew he missed that warm heat that had used to bug him, he never knew he missed…

…Everything.

If only he could go back.

He can imagine it now. He would go back to the usual spot, and everything would be like it always was. Hayner would pounce on him for being late while Pence and Olette watched amusedly in the background. Then Hayner would drag him to the Landlady, where he would force him to apologize for being missing. They would play tricks on Seifer and his group, struggle through the homework together while begging Pence and Olette for help, eat sea-salt ice cream, maybe even go to the beach…

A sigh.

If only.

But he knows the truth.

He knows that if he went to Twilight Town...

...they wouldn't even know him.

He had nothing left.

With a resigned sigh, he opens his eyes and gets up.

* * *

When he comes down, he finds Aerith and Cloud at the table. Aerith looks up from her flower arranging and smiles while Cloud gives a short glance of acknowledgement before going back to sipping his tea, his eyes narrowed in a zombie-like state of awareness. 

"Good morning Roxas! Ready for your first day of work?"

Figures that Aerith would be this bright and cheerful so early in the morning. Truthfully, he honestly wants to say "NO" and go back to sleep.

Instead, he merely attempts for a smile.

"Yeah…I hope…"

Aerith stops what she's doing and goes up to ruffle his hair. (Roxas wonders if Aerith is naturally oblivious to everything around her or if she is perceptively ignorant)

"Don't worry…If anything happens, I can always tell you some embarrassing stories about Cloud to cheer you up."

Roxas glances a look towards Cloud, who looks like he's about to fall asleep in his tea. He lets out a little snort, and somehow feels a little better.

"Thanks, Aerith."

Aerith merely waves off his thanks off.

"Do your best, okay? Now, here have some breakfast. Leon says he'll talk with you about what's going on after you finish."

Roxas nods his thanks as he takes his plate of pancakes. He eats quietly, letting the silence wash over him. Aerith hums quietly, moving back and forth from the kitchen doing little errands.

Time passes by.

Cloud stands up, his eyes slightly more sober and alert than before, and walks out.

Time passes by.

Yuffie stumbles down, Cid following her a little while after. They seem to glare at everything in their half-awake state.

Time passes by.

Roxas gets up, his plate finished and brings it to the sink, where Aerith is in the middle of washing dishes merrily.

Somehow, it seemed like eternity had passed in those few minutes.

He stands in front of the door.

Somehow, he feels like opening that door will irreversibly change his life.

Reach. Grab. Turn.

With a sigh, he pushes the door open.

* * *

"…We've been having some trouble." 

Cloud's already there (obviously), sitting with Leon.

"Trouble?"

"Yeah…I'll show the two of you when…Oh, Roxas, you're here, good." Leon stands. "Here, follow me to the bailey."

* * *

"…We want to restore Hollow Bastion to what it used to be. Who 

knows—maybe even something better. There's still a lot to do, but I'm sure we

can handle everything—Except...for that..."

And Leon stops, showing them the view.

Below, two silver beings are seen floating, wiggling, jumping, seeming to defy the laws of gravity.

Cloud narrows his eyes.

"What are they? They...feel familiar."

"We don't know. They just suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and we've been unable to destroy them. Because of that, we can't get anywhere with the reconstruction…Roxas? Are you okay?"

Dusks. The dusks were…here?

Roxas looks up, suddenly noticing Cloud and Leon looking at him strangely.

"A-ah, yeah…I'm fine."

He had agreed to stay here. (He had no where else to go)

He had agreed to help rebuild Hollow Bastion. (He wanted to be helpful.)

He had left the Organization such a long time ago… (He wanted to find "himself".)

But he didn't think that it'd follow him everywhere.

Traitor.

The sudden thought leaves a bitter imprint in his mind.

Cloud's voice snaps Roxas' out of his thoughts.

"Leon…Give Roxas the day off. I'll handle his part."

Roxas' head snaps up, his eyes darting from Cloud to Leon.

"Wait—"

"Alright. Better be ready for a hard day of work." Leon says with a smirk. "Roxas, go back."

"But, I'm fine—Ow!"

Roxas rubs the spot where Cloud poked his forehead.

"You're not needed here. Go." Cloud prompts.

Roxas hesitates, and looks away.

He felt awkward. He felt useless. He felt annoyed that he was actually considering this.

And he felt that this is exactly what he wanted,

He looks back at Cloud.

"You better not regret this later." He warns, giving Cloud a stern look.

Cloud nods, giving a small smile.

As Roxas walks awaky, he finds himself oddly thankful.

* * *

Cid calls out a greeting as Roxas comes in. 

"Roxas, running away from Leon, eh? Don't worry, I won't tell him that you're here."

Roxas gives a soft 'thanks', before walking on. In the hallway, he meets Aerith.

"Hmm? Roxas? Why are you here?"

"I…wasn't feeling well." He explains weakly.

Aerith immediately snaps into action, placing a hand on his forehead.

"Oh, not you too! Yuffie must have spread her fever to you…"

Roxas tries to reassure Aerith.

"No…It's more like…mental illness."

Smooth talking Roxas, back in action.

He tries to fix his words.

"I mean…! Well, everything's changing and it's…kinda getting to me."

Aerith nods understandingly, and thankfully, doesn't question any further.

"Alright then, how about we keep your mind off things, and make Yuffie some soup?"

* * *

"Wait, Aerith, don't put in...!" 

"Eh? But the recipe says to add some salt…"

"…Aerith, that's flour."

"Hmm? Oh, it is! Well, salt and flour do look alike. Alright, let's put some salt in!"

"Ah—No! That's sugar!"

"…Right. Silly me…eheheheh…"

"Here, let me do it…Wait, you don't add salt for another three steps!"

* * *

In the end, Roxas ended up making the soup by himself while Aerith went to pick some flowers for Yuffie. 

"Maah, Roxas, the soup looks so good. How do you do it?" Aerith marvels, as she uncovers the steaming pot.

_I actually read the directions._

"Ah…It was nothing," He says sheepishly. Aerith just gives him a look.

"Now now, don't be modest. Here, take this to Yuffie." She says, handing him a boul of soup and some flowers.

"M-me? Why not you?"

Aerith smiles—wait, _smirks_.

It was quite the scary expression.

"But I'm _so_ busy." Aerith says cheerfully and gives him a wink. "Go on, take it to her."

He _really _did not like the implications Aerith was giving out.

* * *

Roxas really hated how he was so easily manipulated. 

He stands outside Yuffie's door. He could imagine what the gang would say to him at the moment.

Hayner: "C'mon, Roxas, be a man."

Olette: "Aww…Roxas, you're so funny when you're shy. Don't worry, girls like that.

Pence: Hehe…You're in a tough situation, aren't you? Well, good luck with that.

He sighs. Was he so sad that he had to rely on voices in his head (who couldn't even give decent advice)? Taking a deep breath, he decides to get on with it, and enters.

"Aerith, I told you, I'm _fiiiine_—Oh, it's you."

What a welcome.

Yuffie sits on her bed, glaring at him. Was it him, or did she always seem to be in a bad mood?

"Yeah…" He says, not really sure what to say.

He puts the soup on the bedside table, the flowers laid right beside it.

"Er…I made the soup, so I think it should be fine…" He says hesitantly. A pause. Then he adds, "…And the flowers are from Aerith."

She continues to glare, scrutinizing him.

"…Right. I'll tell Aerith you said 'thanks'." He continues talking to fill up the silence.

Now…for a quick exit…

"Oi, wait." Comes Yuffie's demanding voice.

…or not.

_Grab—Flop._

And Roxas somehow finds himself pulled onto the edge of her bed.

"Look at me. Do I look sick to you?"

(_Define sick_.)

Roxas glances over, not really sure exactly what's he's looking for.

"…No?"

"Exactly! I don't look sick, cause _I'm not! _I don't see the reasoning behind her forcing me into bed and all. It's wrong, it's inhumane, it's unfair and Leon's going to think I'm all weak! He might even send me back to Traverse Town, that beast! Or even worse, make me stay at home with Aerith and _cook_…"

She lets out a frustrated groan and glares at her blanket.

"…Are you done?" The words are out of his mouth before he knows it. He immediately shuts up and vows not to say anymore.

"I mean…"

Too late.

(Urgh. Did he have to be such a social reject?)

"…Well, cooking with Aerith isn't _that _bad." He attempts to rectify his earlier words.

(And so, he lies through his teeth.)

She continues to give him an incredulous look. (Yet she somehow seems amused at the same, the way her mouth twitched upwards every few seconds, the way her eyebrow raised, the way her eyes were glittering…Greeeat. People, meet Roxas, social reject who doubles as a sick person entertainer when he can't shut up.)

"And besides, I'm sure Aerith has a decent reason to keep you here…"

He moves closer to her, and puts his hand on her forehead. Yuffie frowns, seeming to suddenly shrink away.

"See? You do have a fever." He says simply, taking his hand away.

Yuffie pouts.

"But I _feel _fine." She whines.

Aerith was the one who put him up to this. Aerith was the one who wanted him to keep this girl company.

…And suddenly, he gets an idea.

He feels a smile blossoming on his face.

"Well then…why not use this time to plot out revenge?"

* * *

"Hey, I saw a strange guy out there near the crystal caverns on my watch. He was mumbling to himself…something about "nobodies" or something." Tifa looks around. "Do you know him?" 

Aerith frowns.

"I don't think so. What did he look like?"

Tifa scratches her head, trying to remember.

"Mm…Well, he had this really weird hairstyle…I think it's called a mullet, or something? Actually, he kind of reminded me of you, Roxas."

Roxas looks up from his dinner.

"Me?"

(…who could it be…who could it be…mullet…wait…)

"I'll check it out later." Leon says. Roxas stands up.

"It's okay, I'll go look now." He says. "I'm full anyway."

He goes out of the room before he can hear any protests.

Nobodies…mullet…looks like him…

He runs so fast that he can practically hear the time whizzing by him.

It couldn't possibly be…

Everything passes by him in a flash.

The postern…

The bailey…

And then he's there.

He can't believe his eyes.

"…Demyx?"

The man turns, his eyes wide with horror.

"Roxas?"

* * *

"Roxas…Axel is…_dead."

* * *

AN: Tell me you did not see that coming. Seriously. Okay, I'm going on vacation tonight so I'm rushing to get this chapter done. Which means 1) No proof-reading and 2) No editing. Thus, you get decent-borderlining-on-sucky chapter. Enjoy.  
_

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

"DiZ, Riku!"

The two turn at the voice. Riku's eyes widen in surprise.

"Namine? What are you doing back here?"

Namine pauses, hands on her knees as she catches her breath. Then, when she looks up, Riku can't believe his eyes.

Namine is...crying?

"The Organization..."

* * *

Demyx suddenly hugs Roxas, his head buried into Roxas' shoulder. 

"Roxas you're--you're...alive..."

Demyx tightens his arms, as if trying to confirm Roxas' existence, continuing to mumble about how glad he was Roxas was alive and that he couldn't believe and...

Roxas puts his arms around Demyx in what he was hoping to be a comforting embrace.

"Whoa...Demyx, what happened?"

Demyx never lost control. Sure, he was crazy and hyper and could never stop singing what he called "good music", but he rarely ever lost control of his emotions. Ever.

Yet here he was now, nearly crying into Roxas' shoulder.

Roxas didn't know what to think.

"Axel said he killed you and he was all sad and I ran away cause I wanted to get away from it all you know and so I stayed at Agrabah for a while but then when I came back everyone was fi-fighting and the Xemnas was trying to kill everyone and wh-when he-he sa-sa-saw me and ca-came after me and then..."

Roxas, barely able to catch what Demyx says, suddenly feels himself stop.

"...What happened, Demyx?" He asks. He doesn't want to know the answer, he doesn't want to know the answer, he doesn't want to know the answer.

"Roxas, Axel is...Axel is..._dead_."

* * *

Did the world stop? It certainly felt like it did.

* * *

He feels like he can't breathe. 

Yet he does.

He feels like he can't feel.

Yet he does.

He feels like he can't live.

Yet he does.

"...How?" He croaks out.

"Xe-xemnas was coming for me...An-and Ax-axel stepped in front of me a-and...he...di..."

Demyx chokes up.

"And-and...his last words-s-s...he-he-he sssaid..."

* * *

"We'll meet again in the next life...Got it memorized?"

* * *

"Namine, what happened?" Riku asks her hesitantly. Then he winces, realizing how that might not be a good question to ask first. He adds on, "...Are you okay?" 

Sora was always the one to comfort Kairi, not him. Sora was always the one to make Kairi laugh, make her happy. And where was Sora when he was needed? Sleeping.

That bastard.

She fiercely wipes away her tears, a stubborn frown on her face.

"I'm fine, it doesn't matter." Her face is guarded, a carefully drawn look on indifference on her face. It might have looked real, if it wasn't for her red puffy eyes, and the streaks of streaks of dried tears. Even yet, Riku finds himself admiring how controlled her voice is.

"I snuck into one of the Organization's meetings, hoping I would hear something about Roxas. When I got in, it was mainly Axel talking to Xemnas..."

* * *

"Hey, boss, I've been wondering...if we've collected so many hearts from the heartless already...why don't we have our own hearts back yet?"

* * *

"When Xemnas didn't answer, Axel continued to talk..."

* * *

"...Are you sure you aren't collecting hearts for your own selfish gain?" 

Xigbar jumps into the conversation.

"Ya know Xemnas, I've been wondering about that too...There's only seven of us left...Why do we need so many hearts?" He asks, seemingly nonchalant.

Xemnas merely smiles and looks around.

"Are there any more questions?" He asks, his voice smooth as chocolate. "Are there any inquiries that you have just been _dying _to make?"

A silence meets his challenge.

Then...

"Have you been using us?" Saix asks, a weird glint in his eye.

Xemnas' smile grows wider.

"Of course not."

* * *

"...And then, before I knew it, he started to attack and..." Namine hangs head down. "...I'm sorry. I had to escape before I could see anything else." 

Riku rests his hand on Namine's shoulder.

"...You did what you had to do." He says in some cheap attempt to maybe comfort her. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he feels like smacking himself. Wow, way to sound comforting.

Namine nods.

"Thank you...Riku." She mumbles quietly.

DiZ comes over to her side.

"Was there anything else?" He asks urgently.

Her gaze comes up and her guarded expression is back.

"Yes, I went to the Proof of Existence afterwards. There's no doubt about it. Xemnas is dead..." She pauses, and for a moment, her expression breaks. "...Along with Roxas."

Riku looks at her carefully, gauging her expression. However, she doesn't look at him, and instead, keeps her gaze with DiZ.

"What about the others? Are the others dead as well?" DiZ asks.

"The only ones that I couldn't tell were Demyx, Xigbar, and Luxord...Other than that, everyone else is dead."

DiZ nods, taking the information in.

"...Thank you, Namine." He says gently. "...I know this must have been hard on you..."

After a moment of pause, he gets up.

"If there's any way I can make up for it..."

He leaves the sentence open-ended and leaves the room. Namine still continues to refuse to look at Riku, instead, opting at staring at the floor. Riku looks at her...

Realization.

"...Roxas isn't dead, is he. There's no way in hell that Kairi would be that calm if Sora died..."

Namine looks up at him, and for a moment, there's a little glow in her eye.

"I'm not Kairi."

* * *

Demyx, in broken pieces, tells what happened to Roxas. How Xaldin was attacking Xigbar, how Axel had finished off Xaldin, how Saix had killed Xemnas in a kamikaze attack, how Luxord had helped Demyx get away... 

Roxas could only nod along dumbly. He wasn't sure if he was listening or not, but he heard everything.

"Roxas...What am I going to do now?" Demyx pleadingly asks. "I...I don't remember a life without the Organization...I don't know what to do."

"...It'll be alright." Roxas robotically says.

The words leave a stale taste in his mouth.

Demyx hollowly laughs.

"Liar."

Roxas finds himself smiling grimly.

"Doesn't matter. We're not meant to exist. We're living a lie of a life already." He spits out bitterly.

Demyx mirrors his expression.

"...It's nice to know I can always count on you for a little angst whenever I want, Roxas."

"As long as you don't sing, I'm fine with that."

* * *

_"Hey, Roxas! Get up!" _

_Roxas turns._

_"Roxas..."_

_Roxas ignores the voice._

_"Roxas, if you don't wake up, I'm going to get the Landlady..."_

_He shoots up like fireworks, hands up in the air._

_"I'm up! I'm up!" He cries. "Please don't call her up, she's scary..."_

_Olette giggles._

_"Oh Roxas, you're so silly sometimes." She says and grabs his hands, suddenly dragging him out. "Now c'mon, let's go!"_

_He tries to pull back, not wanting to leave his nice...warm...bed._

_"Go where? Olette, I'm not even dressed...Augh, Olette, you're hurting me!"_

_"Then stop resisting! Come. ON! I have something I want to show you!"_

_And somehow Roxas finds himself being pulled out of bed, dressed in thin pajamas, and being brought downstairs. With a flash, Olette opens the door to the living room..._

_"__H__a__**pp**__y__**Bi**_**rth**d**a**y!"

_In the midst of jumbled joyous celebrations and calls, Roxas can only stare dumbfounded and shivering in the morning cold._

_"...What?"_

_Hayner sighs._

_"Come on man, after all this preparation, that's the best reaction you can give us?" He whines._

_Roxas only blinks._

_"But today's not my birthday...I don't know when my birthday is, remember?" _

_"Yeah, but today's the day we found you in the forest!"_

_Roxas scratches his head._

_"Really?"_

_Hayner gives him a deadpanned look._

_"Did you honestly forget?"_

"Are you awake?"

Cloud's voice cuts through his dream-like state and suddenly, the air seems much too cold.

Roxas blinks a couple times, opening his eyes. Hollow Bastion...Demyx...Axel.

He closes his eyes.

"No," He responds. "I'm not."

There is silence.

A sigh.

"...How's Demyx?"

"He's been inquiring about you. Apparently, you've been missing for a year. Tifa now calls me kidnapper."

Roxas wishes he could lift his mouth up into a smile. But he's so tired, so lazy, so...dead.

"...You should get up. He's been asking for you."

Roxas still doesn't move, his eyes closed.

"Hey Cloud...how do you face someone...if you've let them down?"

* * *

"_Hmm...You look lonely."_

"_Eek!"_

_Demyx jumps, and turns towards his intruder. It was that women...name...name..._

"_Tee...Tee..."_

_She swings down and sits beside him on the roof._

"_Tifa. You know, for a guy, you scream extraordinarily like a girl." She smiles teasingly._

_Demyx looks down._

"_...I've been told that." With a hang of his head, he adds, " A lot." _

_Tifa grins._

"_Consider it a compliment. I'm telling you, it's one hell of an intimidation factor when fighting." Tifa pokes him in the shoulder. "Oi, what's got you down?"_

"_...Why do you care?"_

_Tifa shrugs._

"_You kind of remind me of someone I once knew." She explains vaguely. "And don't think you can change the topic on me."_

_Demyx looks at Tifa, his gaze going back forth from her to his hands._

"_I...well..."_

"_Come on. You can tell me." She cajoles._

_Demyx is silent, the words forming sentences, forming beginnings in his minds. He chooses one._

"_...I kind of feel like...I'm lost. In darkness." He sighs. "Kinda like...no matter where I turn, I have no where to go. I don't have a path or a goal, and anything I do just leads me further into the darkness..." _

_He winces._

"_That probably sounded stupid, didn't it..."_

_ He looks over at her face, cautious, almost afraid of what she'll say..._

_She's staring into the distance. Her eyes are lowered, distant...and her face..._

_ It looks so sad that Demyx almost gives her a hug.  
_

"_No...I understand." _

_  
Her voice is so quiet, that it's almost a whisper... The wind blows.  
_

_For a moment, they are silent, staring at the gray morning._

_Tifa suddenly straightens up, a cheerful grin spreading across her face._

"_Don't worry! All you need is a little light to surround you, so the darkness won't swallow you." She takes his hand. "Here, let me give you some of mine."_

_For a moment, Demyx swears that his hand had actually glowed. What the...Was all the booze that he stole from Xigbar actually getting to him...? Was he starting to see hallucinations now?  
_

_She jumps up._

"_Now, c'mon, let's go inside! Roxas might even be awake by now!"_

_...Did the world seem a little brighter? Did that hole in his chest feel a little lighter?_

_He nods, and pushes himself up._

"_...Yeah."_

* * *

_  
How do you face someone if you've let them down...?_

It was weird, Roxas realized.

To see Cloud so...open.

The emotions on Cloud's face were like...falling stars in a weird sense. They would flash by, mere seconds, and would be gone...yet...

Roxas could read his face perfectly.

(_Regret. Confusion. Nostalgia. wishfulness anger affliction bitterness lamentation anguish remorserepentdisappointmentdiscomfortsorrowandohhowhewantedtocry...)_

He could...understand him perfectly.

And it somehow hurt him to see Cloud like this. (Cloud was supposed to be the strong one, the guarded one who rarely showed any emotions, the protecting older brother to everyone...)

_Such a broken voice._

"I...don't know."

* * *

AN: Yup, another rushed chapter due to limited time on the computer. Yar, I hated this chapter. It's all...explanation-y totally confusing order timeline-ish. And it's also one of those crossroads (kind of) chapters, where I have to decide a lot of things. I really hope I made the breaking up of the Organization decently realistic. Hopefully. Yeah, and while I'm ranting about things I don't like...I don't like my characterization of Demyx (and Roxas. And Cloud.). But Demyx I made so...Urgh, I really wanted to make an evil!Demyx but it didn't fit in...And yeah, I make Roxas and Cloud really angsty, don't I...I'm trying to keep them in character, and show character development, but it somehow feels like nothing's happening. Meh. 


	5. Chapter 5

Tifa goes up the stairs, doing her routine check-up-on-Roxas-every-two-minutes. However, this time, Aerith comes to stop her.

"Tifa...don't go there." She warns.

Tifa tilts her head, curious.

"Why?"

Aerith looks down, a guilty look in her face.

"Cloud and Roxas are talking...I overhead a bit of their conversation." Aerith looks up pleadingly into Tifa's eyes. "Now wouldn't be the best time to interrupt..."

Tifa bites her lip, hesitant.

(She wants to know what they're talking about. She wants to know what made Aerith ask her to not go. She wants to how it's even possible to have a conversation with Cloud. She wants to know...)

She relents.

"Alright," She says, sighing.

She looks at the stairs, for some reason, suddenly feeling worried.

"I won't go."

* * *

Roxas comes down alone. 

"Roxas, you're awake!" Aerith exclaims, noticing him. "How are you feeling? You were sleeping for such a long time..."

She stops talking, seeming to search for something behind him.

_She's looking for Cloud_, he realizes.

"Cloud's still upstairs." Roxas explains. "He...just needs some time to relax."

Aerith nods, though her eyes still betray her worry. She then brightens up.

"Oh! Your friend was looking for you! Demyx, I believe?" She smiles. "You know, someday you're going to tell me how the both of you ended up collapsed on the doormat. It was quite the scare, believe me. Now go on.. I think he's outside in the--."

_Screeeeeeeeech._

Roxas grimaces.

"I can hear him. Thanks."

And he runs out the door.

* * *

"Demyx!" 

The blond looks up, the music stopping. He grins.

"Roxas! You're up! Here, let me play something I devised recently..."

"Play one note and I'll stop being angtsy." Roxas threatens.

Demyx freezes and looks up, horror in his eyes.

"You wouldn't..." He gasps out.

Roxas doesn't stand down.

"Try me," He challenges. "I'll _smile_."

They stare each other down.

Seconds pass by.

Finally, Demyx looks away, a smile on his face.

"Alright, alright, you win. Can't have our Roxas smiling now, can we?" He teases. "You'll always be my little angster."

"That's ganstaa to you." He says, putting up a peace sign.

And then in unison, they say: "Got it memorized?"

They pause, almost waiting.

Silenced air.

"Axel's not here." Roxas finally says. Demyx nods, a half-smile, a half-grimace on his face.

"...Kinda always thought that he would be the last to go..." Demyx turns to Roxas in nostalgia. "You know, I used to fantasize that my final moments would be saving Axel, and that his face would be over mine, crying and complaining how he was supposed to be the last to go...Che. He took that dream away from me."

"What an Axel-like thing for him to do." Roxas snorts. "That bastard."

Demyx mirrors his expression.

"He died a death that fit him. Unfair, really."

Another tensioned silence, as the both of them reminisce.

"Roxas...I think I'm going to travel the worlds for a little while."

Roxas head flashes up.

"What? You're not staying?"

Demyx snickers.

"Me? Stay still in a place for more than two days? You're joking, right?" He raises an eyebrow questioningly.

Roxas gives a little smile.

"You're right...I forgot who I was talking to. Where are you going?"

Demyx shrugs.

"I don't know...Anyway, everywhere..." Demyx hopelessly grins. "Maybe I'll even find someone who likes my music."

Roxas tries to smile.

"Don't kid yourself."

* * *

"_Tifa...how do you face someone's you've let down?" Demyx hesitantly asks._

_He walks on, waiting for an answer. When she remains silent, he stops and turns around._

"_Ti...fa?"_

_She stands still, frozen. Her face is wide, her mouth open in deep inhale. Her eyes are faraway and distant, almost as if she's living in another world...in a memory._

_Then, the spell breaks, and she looks down._

_With a bitter smile, she responds._

"_You don't."_

* * *

"Hey...Roxas..." 

"Yeah?"

Demyx awkwardly looks to the side.

"I'm sorry..."

It's a moment where you don't have to understand the other to understand them.

Roxas looks down.

"You know what?...I'm sorry too."

* * *

"_Hey, Demyx..." _

_Tifa pauses, hesitating._

"_Eh? What is it?"_

_He pokes her, prompting to respond. With a nervous expression, she looks away._

_As she speaks, her voice is quiet, small, unsure._

"_Did you...perhaps...know someone by the name of Dyme?"_

* * *

"Well...I guess this is goodbye then..." Demyx attempts to break the silence. 

Roxas nods.

"Yeah...see ya." He says weakly, raising his arm in a goodbye.

He feels so down, so disheartened to see Demyx go...

But...

Deep down...he's grateful.

(He doesn't know he would have been able to live facing him everyday...knowing that he should have been there to help Axel, help Demyx...Traitor.)

Demyx opens a portal, the dark passage springing up. With slow steps, he walks towards it.

When he's in front of it, he stops and turns to look at Roxas.

"...We'll see each other again..." His words are determined, but his voice wavers.

_...Right?_

Roxas attempts to give a reassuring smile.

"Yeah...Of course."

Demyx just continues to look at Roxas, almost searching for something. Almost looking like he wants to say something...but...

He turns around.

Roxas blinks...and he's gone.

* * *

"_We'll meet each other in the next life...Got it memorized?"_

* * *

"Hey Roxas...Oi, where's Demyx?" Yuffie asks, looking around. 

The sun has set. It's night when he comes back.

"He left...looking for adventure, I guess." Roxas explains. Yuffie takes no notice of his saddened countenance, simply huffing in annoyance.

"Damn, just when I thought someone cool was coming to live with us..." She pouts, before turning to Roxas, a stern look on her face. "Tomorrow, we set our revenge plan into action, got it? Don't screw it up, or I'll..."

She pauses, her face in deep thought as thinks of a good threat.

Seconds pass.

"...Well?" Roxas asks, almost tiredly.

Yuffie whacks him on the head.

"Shut up, I'm thinking! ...Okay! Don't screw it up or I'll set my army of moogles on you!"

Silence.

"...I'm scared." Roxas says blandly. "Really."

She narrows his eyes.

"Shut up, you boring little angsty boy! Moogles are scarier than they look."

"Speaking from experience?"

For some reason, he couldn't work up the energy to be his usual quiet self...Perhaps he just didn't care anymore.

Yuffie this time opts for glaring at him.

"You..." She stops talking for a moment, and takes a deep breath. "Aerith says dinner's ready."

And she walks away stiffly into the dining room.

As Roxas moves to follow, he's stopped by Tifa, who is hanging by on the wall. A bitterly ironic smile is on her face, like a '_should have known_' look.

"So...he's gone?" She says in a resigned way.

Roxas nods, confused as to why Tifa would be asking him, especially it it sounds like she knows the answer.

"Yeah..."

Tifa takes the information in and leans off the wall.

"Figures."

* * *

"Cloud...dinner's ready." 

Cloud looks up to Tifa, standing in the room. She has an almost expectant look on her face.

"Ah...thanks."

He makes no move to get up. Tifa narrows her eyes at him, her mouth opening as she figures out what she wants to say to him.

"If you're going to run away again..." She begins.

Cloud is silent. Still. Statue.

He waits.

She sighs.

Such disappointment was laced into that one moment. Like something had suddenly changed because nothing had changed at all.

"I won't chase after you."

She leaves the room.

* * *

"Tifa...how's Cloud?" Aerith asks. 

Tifa shrugs.

"Angsting, thinking, brooding, the same." She starts to get a plate of food, as if honestly not caring.

Aerith starts to rise.

"Are you sure? Maybe I should—"

"Aerith." Tifa gives Aerith a serious look. "Leave him alone."

For a moment, Aerith seems unwilling and hesitant. But then after a moment of contemplating, she sits down with a reluctant sigh.

"...Alright. If you say so."

Dinner goes on.

"Oh, Roxas, you're free tomorrow, right? Do you think you can help me with something?" Merlin asks.

However, before Roxas can say anything, Yuffie's already jumping up and protesting.

"No way, old man! Roxas's mine!"

Silence.

A blush colours Yuffie's cheeks.

"Er...I mean, I'm taking Roxas on a tour around Hollow Bastion so...yeah, he won't be free tomorrow..." With each word she says, her voice becomes smaller and smaller, until she's nearly sinking into her seat.

Leon smirks.

"Well, someone sounds possessive." His eyes narrow and his smirk widens. "You must be really looking forward to your little _date _tomorrow..."

Yuffie freezes, suddenly sitting up straight, shock filling her features.

"What the—date!?" She screeches. "That's disgusting! That's just...yuck! Grossness! Boys have cooties you know!"

Cid, chuckles, a grin on his face.

"Why, our little Yuffie's growing up..." He drawls.

"What? NO!"

Even Aerith can't seem to resist in joining the little "let's bully and tease Yuffie" fest when she sings, "Yuffie, it's okay. We'll allow you to date. Just remember, be home by nine."

Yuffie looks at her betrayer in horror.

"Aerith, not you too!" She whines out. "I thought you out of all people..."

Surprisingly enough, it's Tifa who quiets everyone down.

"Alright, alright, people," She injects. "Let's not bully Yuffie, okay?"

Yuffie punches a fist into the air.

"Yes! Tifa, I knew I loved you!" She exclaims in victory.

Tifa ignores Yuffie, and goes on.

"Besides...aren't you curious about how Roxas _asked her out_?"

Dot dot dot.

Suddenly, everyone's attention is one Roxas, their eyes all glittering scarily. Roxas can practically hear the, "_Hahaha, it's a new target for us..."_

And for some reason, the only thing that Roxas can think is:

_Thank god Demyx isn't here._

* * *

The sound of night fills the dark room. 

"I'm sorry...Roxas."

And with a little _click_, he leaves the room.

A moment passes.

Roxas gets up and follows Cloud.

* * *

He confronts him outside. 

"Leaving them in the middle of the night?" Roxas calls out. "Isn't that a bit cowardly?"

Cloud stops, pausing.

"...You wouldn't understand." He says quietly.

It's a lie.

"You know I would...Try me."

The challenge is left unanswered, the sound of nothing filling the air in between..

It's a new moon tonight.

Shadows fall upon all.

_Shing._

The Buster Sword is drawn, pointed at Roxas dangerously. Cloud's face is stone, his blue eyes so dark that they look black.

Roxas narrows his eyes, looking upon the glinting blade.

"So this is what it's come to." He says, feeling himself oddly disappointed. With a little twinkle the Oblivion and the Oathkeeper and in his hands. He draws back into fighting stance. "You really will fight me?"

Cloud follows suit, his other hand coming to his sword's grip as he too goes into into fighting stance.

"If I must." He replies simply.

Roxas closes his eyes for a brief moment.

_Axel...is this what you felt? ...Sorry to put you through the trouble._

When he opens them, his eyes are clear. Focused.

Determined.

He's lost so much family already.

Hayner, Pence, Olette, the Landlady, Luxord, Xigbar, Zexion, Lexaeus, Demyx...Axel...

He's not going to lose another.

"Cloud...who is it that you can't face?"

The heartless don't dare come near such creatures of darkness.

The square is empty, only the two of them there.

The answer is fleeting. It's a whisper on a wind that's already gone.

"Everyone."

Then he attacks.


	6. Chapter 6

_"If you're going to leave...then at least say goodbye to everyone. So then, at least you know what you're leaving behind!"_

"_Shut up...!"_

"_That's why you're leaving now, aren't you..."_

"_I said, shut up!"_

"_You idiot! You're not searching for your light, you're purposely running into darkness!"_

* * *

They stare at each other, refusing to stand down. 

Their heavy breathing fills the night air.

"Well..." Cloud breathes out. "…Are you done?"

_Clang...!_

The sound of metal against metal echo through the quiet town square. Their blades entwine with each other, each pushing in a battle of wills.

"Of course…not. I'm going….to keep fighiting. I won't…let you make…the same mistake I did." Roxas promises, staring directly into Cloud's eyes.

_If I hadn't left...I could have been there...I could have been there helping Axel, fighting alongside him..._

That one opening, that one thought…

It was all Cloud needed.

_Shiiing._

Roxas suddenly finds his grip reluctantly opening, his hand suddenly seeming to grasp at empty air.

His keyblades slip to the ground, ratting as they de-materialize into little sparkles.

A sword at his throat.

This was all too familiar.

"Damn, I lost." He mutters. Yet somehow, he's smiling a bitter little smile. He wonders if it will rain…

He opens his eyes to see Cloud staring at him, not moving.

"What are you doing? Go on, you won. You should be running away while you have the chance." Roxas says, searching Cloud's eyes.

Cloud narrows his eyes...wait...was that...in his eyes….

..._guilt?_

"The reason I seek Sephiroth…is because…"

* * *

_**He's falling.**_

* * *

_A knock on his door._

_Then, a weak:_

"_Roxas...?"_

_Olette's voice._

_He goes to the door, and opens it._

"_Hey, Ole—Olette!"_

_She's crying, hurriedly wiping her tears as she sniffs loudly. _

"_I'm s-sorry...I don't know why I'm crying (hic)...I mean..."_

_Roxas brings her into his room, and closes the door._

_(Panicpanicpanicpanicpanicwhattodowhattodoohwhythehellwashesuchasocialreject)_

"_Whoa…What happened, Olette?" He asks her, guiding her to his bed. "Are you…okay?"_

_She looks down and tries to breath deeply. The words seem to come spilling out of her, boiling to the point that it seemed to overflow everywhere._

"_It's just that...Mom and Dad are fighting again and Pence locked himself in his room and I don't know what to do because I feel guilty because I feel like I should be helping out and that I should be doing something and...I'm sorry." She hangs her head low. "I'm not bothering you, am I? I mean...I just suddenly found myself coming here..."_

_Roxas wishes he could do something to make her stop crying, to make her feel better. Yet all he can do is wrap an awkward around her shoulder, unable to think of anything better._

"_Hey there...It'll be alright..." Roxas tries to soothe her, his mind racing to think up comforting things to say. "You'll always have me...I mean, us. You know, Hayner, Pence, the Landlady...Hell, even Seifer will always be there if you want some jerk to slap at...you know..."_

_Olette gives a small giggle._

"_You're such a social loser, Roxas...You really suck at cheering people up, you know?" She remarks dryly._

"_Thanks." He says, deadpan. "...You want a hug?"_

* * *

He rubs his eyes, blinking them a few times as he wakes up. 

"Roxas...Roxas, are you awake?"

Such a familiar voice...

Through his narrowed eyes, he sees green eyes and two large strands of brown hair.

_...Olette?_

"...What? Is everything okay?" He says weakly, barely awake.

A sharp inhale and suddenly—

"Oh Roxas...I'm just so glad...Thank you...so much..."

—He finds himself in a hug.

As he wakes up, he'll find himself later realizing that's it's a crying Aerith who's embracing him.

* * *

_Cloud carries an unconscious Roxas in his arms back to the house, his face closed down and dark._

"_You know, it was impossible to not wake up from all that noise you two made..."_

_Tifa. Beside her stands everyone else...a stone-faced Leon, a wide-eyed Yuffie, a sighing Cid, a sad-faced Merlin, a crying Aerith..._

_But he merely ignores them, refusing to look at him._

"_You'll take care of him, right?" He asks._

_Tifa sighs._

"_...You sad bastard. You sad, cowardly bastard." She mutters under her breath. Then, out loud, she calls to him. "Leave him here. He'll be fine. Go."_

_Cloud smiles, unbeknown to everyone. Gently, he leans Roxas onto a stray bench._

"_Thanks..."_

_And with that, he disappears off into the night._

* * *

"Hmm? What's this…Oh hell! It's Cloud! How have you been, bro?" 

Cloud's eye twitches, but keeps his face stone. He dealt with this person several times before…he can do it again.

"Don't call me that."

As if getting fun out of Cloud's annoyance, the man continues on with the same familiar attitude.

"That's _right_, you used to give me that look all the time! Some things never change, eh?"

"My past with you is something I'd prefer not to remember."

He waves away Cloud's comment.

"Tch…You're still the same old brood aren't you…Well, what is it this time? Information on Sephiroth again? Dude, isn't that old?"

Once again, Cloud reminds himself of his vow. Keep calm, keep calm.

"…My dealings with Sephiroth are of no business to you. I come this time with a different intent this time."

The man across from him claps his hands amusedly.

"Don't tell me you actually want to join now? Well, it's too bad that we're all practically dead anyway."

Cloud stops in surprise. The man picks up on this, and let's out a little chuckle.

"Oh don't tell me you're feeling bad now…" He goads.

"No." Cloud immediately cuts in. "I'm just surprised that for a group so strong, you fell so quickly."

The man shrugs.

"It was bound to happen. I knew something was up, but someone beat me to the punch. Pity." The man then leans forward, resting his head upon his gloved hands. "So what _did _you come to me for, Cloudy?"

Cloud narrows his eyes, but ignores the jab, continuing on as if nothing happened.

"Information on the Nobodies."

It's silent for a moment, the man saying nothing. Then, he takes off his hood and raises his glass in a celebratory pose.

"So you're finally accepting who you are? Let us toast then." The man says, an almost taunting smile upon his face.

* * *

"_The reason I seek Sephiroth…"_

_His quiet voice fills up the void of air between them. _

"…_Is because…"_

_His eyes are distant, not seeing. Roxas suddenly feels like a mirror._

_Such a quiet whisper, a hushed mutter._

_He barely hears it._

"…_I am his Nobody."_

_The world has stopped._

_It's only the two of them, staring at each other._

_Echo…_

_Echo…_

_Echo…_

I am his Nobody.

_And before Roxas knows it…_

_**He's falling.**_

* * *

"…You presume too much, Xigbar." 

Xigbar tilts his head nonchalantly.

"I suppose. So tell me…what are you going to give me for this information?"

Cloud is silent. Inwardly, he curses at himself for being so naïve. Xigbar's smile widens at his reaction.

"What? You honestly thought that because I help you with Sephiroth for free that this would be the same?" Xigbar lets out a laugh. "Dude, the only reason I did that was just for entertainment. Seriously, it was funny watching that chase of yours. When did you finally realize that you would never defeat Sephiroth?"

Xigbar pauses.

"Or…are you now hoping that he'll defeat you?" He leers.

Cloud feels his hands twitching to reach for his sword and slice off Xigbar's head. (He wants to kill him. He wants to **kill him**.)

Instead, he opts for curling his hands into tight fist as he fights to keep in control.

"…I see no point in this. Tell me what you want." He stiffly gets out.

Xigbar puts on a condescending smirk.

"My my, you're getting better with controlling your emotions. I'm impressed." He leans back against his chair, lazy opening his arms. "Alright…I'll play your game."

He pauses for a moment to drink some of his wine slowly, as if purposely stalling to annoy Cloud. After gulping down a sip, he lets out a sigh.

"So…Cloud…" His dark brown eyes glitter in the lighting. "How's Roxas?"

* * *

"_I only wish…to overcome the darkness."_

"..._You wish to overcome the darkness? You...You're human! Isn't that enough...Doesn't that prove already that you can defeat the darkness!"_

"_The fact that you have a heart...Doesn't that show you have light in you? The fact that you exist, that you aren't a Nobody...Why do you insist on rejecting what's inside of you? Why are you so afraid?"_

"_Look at me. I'm a Nobody...I'm not supposed to exist...I _can't_exist. I'm completely made up of darkness, an imbalanced being. The only way to be whole for me is to deny my existence, to fade back into darkness, or to merge with my Somebody, where all I'll be is a memory, at most." _

"_You really think it's me who doesn't understand?"_

"_Well…"_

"…_Are you done?"_

* * *

"What happenend? Where's Cloud?" Roxas asks, as soon as he knows what's going on. 

Aerith breathes in deeply, looking away as she wipes away her tears under the cover of her hair. Tifa answers for her.

"He's gone."

Her words fall like a stone to the ground.

Was he dreaming?

Was the past few days just an illusion?

Why did everything seem so surreal?

So vibrant?

So…_alive?_

He wishes for his bed back in Twilight Town, where everything seemed so…comfortable.

Calm.

Level.

What happened to everyone?

Why did they all seem to be disappearing in front of his eyes?

Why was he being left behind?

(…And why was he doing nothing to stop it?)

"He'll be back." He finds himself saying.

Why does he sound so confident? Why does he sound so sure of himself, even though, deep down, he can feel himself screaming, "Liar! Fake!"

…**Traitor.**

**Roxas, you traitor.**

He honestly doesn't care anymore.

* * *

_Author's rants _(Cause that's what they are): End of Arc One. 

_...Okay, not really (cause I don't plan the stories out enough for there to be an arcs) but I just wanted to say that. Doesn't it sound like a cool thing to say?_

_I didn't the 10 reviews I was aiming for but the seven I got were so sweet that I decided to work to try to finish this chapter. (According to [my statistics, only five out of every 45 people read author's note. Shame. :D) Yeah, despite the shorter than usual length of this, this chapter was really hard to write. You see, I actually had this chapter done yesterday, but then...KPING! Sudden Plot Idea That I Must Write! (aka The Cloud Nobody thing)...And so, I had to totally scrap my old work. Yeah, so Luxord will have to wait until I want to use him again... But at least I think I've finally found the reason why I named the story, "Lucidity"._

_**If you're only willing to review once or something, please review this chapter. **It's one of those chapters where there's so many flaws that you're scared to post, but at the same time, it's the one that you feel is one of the best because of all of the risks taken. I really __really want to hear your reactions. And thank you for reading this far. I appreciate it. :D_


	7. Chapter 7

Next morning, the sky is clear when he wakes up.

* * *

"Leavin'?" 

Roxas stops at the voice.

It had been too much to hope for a clean getaway, wasn't it.

He lets out a short sigh, and turns around towards the voice.

"Cid."

The man is sitting down on the cement. Roxas wonders how he hadn't noticed the man before, sitting in the shadows.

"…I never thought that you would be the next one t'leave." Cid says, a resigned tone in his voice.

"I barely know you all…No one would miss me." The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them.

What déjà vu.

Was his life on repeat constantly?

Cid gives Roxas a long hard stare. Then, he gives an odd smile.

"You're exactly like 'im, ya know?"

Roxas opens his mouth to ask who, but Cid beats him to it.

"Cloud. You're exactly like Cloud, kid."

Roxas stops, startled.

But then…he realizes…

It's true.

He smiles back.

"Yeah…I guess I am."

They stare at each other, neither knowing what the other is thinking. Roxas can only wonder what the old man is thinking about…

He wonders if he'll ever be able to come back after this.

Then, Cid gets up, wiping off the dirt and dust off his pants.

"Kid, do you need a ride?"

Roxas shakes his head politely.

"No, I'm fine. I'll find my way." He assures. Cid takes this in and nods.

"If you say so…" He pauses, almost as if about to say something. "I'll…I hope you find what you're looking for."

Such support from a stranger…

How superficially…comforting.

What a brief connection of understanding.

"Thanks."

* * *

Warm sunlight hits his skin, breathing off the chill of traveling through darkness. 

_Breathe in…_

_Breathe out…_

_Breathe in…_

_Breathe out…_

Such familiar clean air.

He opens his eyes, looking over everything.

Such a familiar sight.

He can hear the bustling of the people, the kids at the shops, the trams rolling around.

Such a familiar sound.

Such a familiar place.

It only it was familiar.

Twilight Town.

…_Welcome back Roxas._

* * *

The first thing he does is go to the Landlady. 

"Miss, I would like to rent a room for a week."

Had it been only a few days since he had last been here…? He's feels so different.

The Landlady stares down at him like a hawk.

"Aren't you a bit young? Where are you parents?" She asks sharply, looking around. Roxas can already feel himself reeling back in habit. Nonetheless, he keeps up his face.

"I assure you that I'm old enough. Please, do you have any space for me?"

She keeps staring at him, as if waiting to see if he will crack. Ticktockticktockticktock…she looks away, sniffing.

From her desk she takes out a notebook, flipping through it until she lands on the page she wants. Squinting, she looks at it carefully, her eyes moving up and down the page. Roxas begins to become nervous.

After a while of flipping back and forth, she answers.

"Well, it seems I do have one single room free…" She looks at Roxas, an air of business surrounding her. "What type of boarding? Bed-and-breakfast, half-board, or full-board?"

"Full…" He pauses. "No, bed-and-breakfast."

"Name?"

"Roxas…Strife."

The Landlady nods, and writes a little note before closing it with a _snap!_ Roxas waits patiently as she digs through her drawers, searching. A few seconds pass before she holds out a gold key to him.

"This is your key. Second floor, the last one down the hallway, room 25." Roxas takes the key. She continues to talk. "I am the only one who has another key to your room. Bathrooms have a half-hour limit. Breakfast is at eight. You miss it, then you miss it. If there's leftovers, there's leftovers. You got it?"

Roxas nods.

Odd, he has his old room back.

"Alright. Go away now. Shoo."

Some things never changed.

* * *

Later that evening, after working off a few jobs, he buys a couple of disposable cameras.

* * *

Four days have passed and all he has done is work his butt off for money, buy cameras, and take pictures. 

He's hasn't seen them yet.

It's on the fifth day when he sees Seifer and his gang. He almost wants to go up and challenge him, throw a water balloon at him, just _something_, something to grab his attention.

Yet he doesn't.

(Because he knows Seifer won't recognize him. He knows that in reality, he's never met Seifer before. He's never chased after rabbits with Vivi, attempted to cheat off Fuu, poked Rai in the back…not in this reality.)

Reaching into a duffle bag that he had bought from one of the souvenir shops, he takes out a camera and aims.

_Click._

* * *

Day Six. Evening. 

He suddenly wishes for all of those old photos…that one that he had taken with the shop owner, the one where he and the gang were in front of the mansion…hell, even the ones with Seifer posing over his unconscious body would be nice.

He holds a camera up in front of him, his finger over the button, wondering if he should attempt a picture of himself.

…Would it make a difference?

…Would it prove that he once existed in an alternate fake Twilight Town?

"Hey…do you need some help with that?"

He jumps, startled out of his reverie, dropping the camera accidentally.

"Whoa!"

The girl catches it and holds it out to him. She smiles.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" She says apologetically.

"Oh…"

Such a familiar face.

He can't speak.

…_Olette?_

* * *

"Man…It's sad. Vexen had no good information. Xemnas had nothing. I have nothing. Now all that's left is Zexion and his room is impossible to get into anyway…You sure this will work?" 

Xigbar leads Cloud down the hallway as he guides him through Castle Oblivion.

Cloud nods, steadfast and determined.

"Not in those words exactly…but yes, I believe that I can do it."

Xigbar raises an eyebrow questioningly. When Cloud refuses to say anything, he sighs, wondering how he's able to put up with him.

To fill the silence, he starts talking.

"So…How's Sephiroth, anyway? The madman still alive?" He asks casually.

Cloud is silent, seemingly impassive.

"…So that's a yes." He mutters to himself. He sighs. "…Huh…isn't that odd…"

He stops, standing in front of a doorway.

"Alright…here's the door to Zexion's old rooms. If you can crack it, go ahead and take any research you want."

Cloud nods, and takes out his Buster Sword. Xigbar makes no move to help him, simply leaning against the wall.

"By the way, I've just got to mention…How ironic it is how Number Zero is the first one to get a heart? Were you ever going to mention how that happened?"

* * *

"You were trying to take a picture of yourself, right? Here, let me help you."

* * *

Cloud merely shrugs. 

"I guess I found my light." He responds blandly.

Then, he raises his blade and…

_Wham! Cracracraaaack._

The door lies cracked, pieces of rubble and brick breaking off into a dust. A large gaping oval-shaped hole is the middle, created by the force Cloud's blow.

Cloud walks in, only pausing for a second.

"…Are you coming?"

Xigbar obligingly teleports to Cloud's side, looking around. He whistles, impressed.

"Damn! The little dude sure did grow up! You have gotta show me how you do that sometime…"

* * *

"Alright, here ya go!" Olette says, handing the camera back to Roxas. "So, are you new here around town? You don't look familiar…" 

Why is his heart beating so fast?

Why does he feel so shy?

Such a familiar face…yet…

(…he's scared?)

He hangs his head down sheepishly.

"Heh…Is it that obvious?" He scratches his head. "Yeah, I guess I'm bit lost around here."

Pause.

Then…a giggle.

Roxas looks up, and spots the amused grin on Olette's face.

"Wha—What is it?"

Olette puts a hand to her mouth, as if attempting to hide her smile.

"You're so shy…It's kinda cute." She remarks, a cheerful twinkle in her eye. Then, she holds out her hand.

Roxas stares at it, unsure.

"…Why don't I show you around town?"

* * *

"DiZ…Sora's having some kind of reaction!" 

DiZ looks up to Riku, his face narrowed in thought.

Immediately, the man twists around to his computer, typing speedily. After a few seconds, a neon screen pops up, showing levels and bars moving up and down.

DiZ leans back in his chair, incredulously murmuring and whispering to himself. Riku can almost swear that he's never seen such obvious emotion on the bandaged man.

"…Impossible…This shouldn't…It can't be possible…"

Then, his face suddenly changes as his commanding face comes back. With a flash he turns to Riku.

"You must find Naminé and bring her back here as soon as possible."

* * *

"Whoa…Zexion sure had a lot of research." Xigbar says, admiring the stacks of papers. "And man was he messy!" 

Cloud is quickly shuffling through the piles, his eyes quickly skinning each page.

"It's probably a safety measure in case anyone actually got past his door."

Xigbar once again decides to stay out of Cloud's way, preferring to watch lazily as he sits down in a chair.

"So…tell me, kid…Why _are _you looking up information on the Nobodies? You aren't one anymore, remember?" Xigbar asks.

Cloud pauses slightly before continuing on his search.

"The information…isn't for me. All I need is to check some things." Cloud says, awkwardly forcing his words out.

Xigbar feels a smile growing on his face.

"My my…You really are a walking cliché." Xigbar remarks, enjoying how Cloud stiffens up at his words. "The stoic and seemingly emotionless guy with a soft heart deep down…"

Xigbar lets out a mock sigh.

"…How lame and boring."

However, before he can continue talking, Cloud stands up, a piece of paper in his hands.

"I found what I was looking for."

* * *

"So, are you free Sunday?" Olette asks. Roxas shakes his head. 

"Actually, tomorrow's my last day here…" He says, looking up at the sky.

How ironic that he had ended up on top of the tower, eating sea-salt ice cream. He wonders if this is fate's way of being nice, or if it's just torturing him.

Olette frowns.

"You're not staying? Darn…" She pouts.

Roxas grins.

"Why? You attracted to my charm and handsome good looks?" He says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Olette narrows her eyes, while grinning all the same. She whacks him good-naturedly on the shoulder.

"Che. What good looks and charm? All I see is same lame kid who can't even find his way around Twilight Town." She says, a condescending smirk on her face.

Roxas raises an eyebrow.

"So says the girl who can't even navigate through some underground tunnels."

Olette blushes in embarrassment.

"Hey! They were built pretty recently! It's not my fault that we had somehow ended up in Sunset Town!" She protests.

Roxas just keeps nodding, giving her a patronizing little pat on the shoulder.

Olette just continues to glare at him.

"…You…" She gives him a look that promises revenge. Then, she slumps back, a grin spreading upon her face. "Alright, alright, I give up. We both suck, okay?"

Roxas pretends to mull over it for a second.

"I suppose that's a fair assessment."

_Giggle. _

Roxas glances over to the side to see Olette giggling. He lets out a sigh.

"Now what is it? My hair looks funny? My voice squeaked for a moment?"

Olette covers her mouth with her hand.

"Who says the word '_assessment_' these days?"

* * *

By the end of the day, he had gotten a picture with Olette.

* * *

"…_You know, it feels like I've met you before." _

_Then, as if realizing the cheesiness potential of her statement, Olette cringes. She turns to Roxas, a hesitant look on her face._

"_Er…You know that I'm not coming onto you, right?"_

* * *

Roxas wakes up, feeling oddly lightened. 

In his mind, he doesn't hear, _This is the 7__th__ day. This is the last day here._

He almost feels like…

_Today, I'm going home._

* * *

He's not sure what to do. 

But he wants to do something.

No…He knows what he wants to do.

With a deep breath, he finds himself going to the back alley…the usual spot.

* * *

"Hey…Sorry to bother you people…err…Olette said I could find her here?"

* * *

AN: Augh. Evil filler/aftermath chapter of DOOM. It's the annoying chapter where nothing happens but you can't go on with the plot until you finish it. It actually was supposed to be longer but...I couldn't force myself to write anymore. (This is the third version of this chapter that I've written so far) And Roxas won't stay in character! Grarr, die OOC kid! And I have no idea what to do with Namine. And Luxord. And Cloud. 

For getting this chapter out this chapter, you guys owe me cookies. :D


	8. Chapter 8

He wonders if he should enter.

He almost wants to make a dramatic entrance. He wants to flourish the door wide and have some sappy strings music in the background as he comes riding in on a white horse as roses suddenly start falling from the sky…

Alright. He's never going to ever watch a chick flick with Olette. Ever. Again.

Still, he's not sure how to enter. He wonders if they will welcome him. He wonders if Tifa and Yuffie will go berserk while attacking him with brooms. He wonders if they're even home, if they're even there.

He wonders if he should enter. (Thus, he has talked himself back in a circle. Ah, the complexity of the human mind.)

_Cough._

"Alright, I know that the door is gorgeous and that you totally want to make out with it, but could you do it _after_ I go in?"

Roxas spins around and comes face to face with…

"…Yuffie?" He asks, unsure. The girl in front of him could not be Yuffie. For Yuffie never smiled this widely around him, Yuffie was never in a good mood, for Yuffie was always PMSing…

…Was that sparkles around her face?

And before he can say another word, Yuffie grabs his arm and slams the door open, making the choice for him as she drags him into the house.

"Oi! People! Come look at the stray dog I found hanging outside our door!" Yuffie yells, making Roxas wince. (His left ear will never be the same.)

"Shaddup brat! I don't care about your damn pet!" Cid calls back from his chair, his eyes never leaving the computer screen.

Yuffie's grin only widens.

"Aww…Cid, you're being mean to 'im. Look, you've hurt his feelings." Yuffie says chidingly.

"I don't care!"

"Cid…c'mon now. Say sorry to Roxas…"

Cid whirls around his chair.

"Why the hell would ya name your pet…" He catches sight of Roxas, struggling in Yuffie's grip. "…Roxas!"

Cid immediately gets up and goes over to ruffle his hair.

"So ya came back, eh?"

Great. Now people will treating him as if he really _was _a dog. Now all he needed was a leash and a collar and then he was all set.

Oh what joy that would be.

"What're you all yelling about now…Roxas?"

Whoa crap.

Roxas looks at the woman who just walked in, wondering if he bolted fast enough he'd make it out in time.

Tifa.

From the looks of it…Nope. Not a chance. (At least she didn't seem to have a broom or some rope on her.)

She looks over her him, her face unreadable.

"So…How was your trip?" She asks.

Such a simple question. Is it a trick? A test?

"Er…It was…good."

Silence.

(Whoa, the sparkles! Tifa's smiling! He's dreaming!)

"Welcome home, kid."

And then she ruffles his hair.

* * *

"Riku, what are you doing?" 

Riku is at a loss for words when as he's searching through the Land of Dragons, Naminé suddenly appears in front of him.

"I'm…looking for you?"

She narrows his eyes at him, almost in a look of disgust.

"We have to check up on Sora!"

And she promptly drags him through a portal of darkness.

* * *

"Aerith…did something happen? Why is everyone so happy and…well, sparkly?" 

Aerith gives him a funny look before bursting into light chuckles. Roxas frowns (it seemed like everyone was laughing at him recently), but waits patiently for her to answer.

"Roxas…don't you see?" She puts a hand on his shoulder. "We're happy…cause you're here."

…_What?_

He's stunned. He's out of words. He…really? Is he the reason everyone's…happy?

Aerith smiles.

And then she ruffles his hair.

"You're so cute, sometimes."

* * *

"_Okay little dude, we need a name for you. Cause I'm so nice, I'll let you decide your name. So…whaddya want? Serixophth? Phoxiserith? Sexirophth? Sophtirhex?"_

_When the small child doesn't answer, Braig runs an annoyed hand through his hair._

"_Alright, alright, I know it's hard to get a good name out of Sephiroth, but really, we can't keep calling you "little dude". That just won't work."_

_The boy remains, his gaze up at the sky. Braig waits a few moments._

"_Okay? You decide yet?"_

_Silence._

_Braig narrows his eyes._

"…_Are you even listening? What are you looking at anyway?"_

_Such a quiet voice._

"_Cloud."_

_For a brief moment, Braig feels a small (small tiny microscopic, mind you) piece of sympathy for the boy. After all, they had made him this way._

_But he quickly pushes his thoughts away, reminded himself firmly not to get emotions in the way of science._

"_Fine, then! Cloud, it is!"_

_As expected, the boy doesn't answer, merely continuing to stare upwards._

_Braig sighs._

"_Besides…if all goes right, you'll get a heart anyway."_

* * *

DiZ is already standing by the pod when they arrive. As soon as he sees them, his seem to glitter. 

"So...It's happening." He says simply, and lays a hand on the pod.

Naminé merely looks down, her hair falling over her eyes.

"It seems so."

Her voice is bland and unreadable, quiet. Riku looks at the two of them, his eyes moving back and forth.

"...What's going on?" He asks, oddly suspicious.

It's silent for a moment.

Then, DiZ smiles.

"Sora seems to be waking up."

* * *

AN: Haha...short chapter. I know. The reason is...well...this isn't really an update. -prepares shield- You see...**this story is going to be put on hiatus**. And since I don't really like putting out an author's note without a chapter, I gave you whatever scenes I had for the next chapter. 

Now, for the reason I'm putting this on hold is that I'm kinda unsatisfied as the story seems to be deteriorating a lot. So I think I'm going to take a break and just stop for a while, then come back to it and finish it. (I will finish this by the end of the year, the latest latest latest. You are definitely free to bug and whack me if it seems like I'm slacking.)

Also...any ideas are treasured. Really. I mean...I do have any idea for the ending...but it sucks. Big time. So any advice, or prediction, or something, will be awesomely helpful.

Anyway, as always, I'm really grateful for the support I've gotten for the last...(-checks when the story was published-)...two weeks. It was awesome. It made my summer not so boring. (Especially on that horrid vacation to Canada...urgh. That boring trip was the reason I updated every day.) So...anyone who actually is reading this far...**YOU ROCK!** :D

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

What stillness in the air.

Now all he needed was some close-ups, and he had a perfect movie scene right here.

He is still and calm, despite the blade at his throat.

"...Where is Cloud?" Sephiroth asks, her eyes narrow and cold. Chilled like the air around them, chilled like the piece of steel.

Funny...it didn't feel so bad. It felt like darkness.

It felt familiar.

Roxas shrugs.

"...I haven't seen him in a while." He says blandly. A sharp pain sears at his throat, and he can feel the warm blood trickling down.

"Don't lie to me...Where is Cloud? Is he dead?"

His voice starts to get a bit louder, his breathing labored. Hysterical, but controlled. Like ice just beginning to crack.

Roxas stares dead on, not even blinking.

"I don't know."

* * *

_Roxas leaves the Usual Spot with a heavy hole in his chest. He feels so tired, so dead, so languid…_

_He could start over._

_He could walk back in with a smile, and ask if they have anything to do tomorrow. Go to the beach? Do homework? Sit on the clocktower and eat sea-salt ice cream?_

_He could be friends with everyone again. He could procrastinate with Hayner, he could attempt to learn cooking again with Pence, he could mooch off candy from Olette, he could do…everything._

_(But could he really?)_

_And before he can ponder any more, a familiar voice calls out to him, stopping him in the dark shadows of the alleyway._

"_Roxas…I'd never thought to find you here."_

_Roxas turns, very slowly, very gradually, to face the speaker._

"_In fact, I'd never thought to have found you alive." The person continues jovially. "Though…considering Axel…"_

"_Must be fate," Roxas cuts in. Or some really bad luck, he adds silently. _

_Luxord smiles that annoying smile that Roxas had always hated, that oily smile that he could never tell if it was sincere or not._

"_Must be." Luxord concedes and for a moment, as he stares at Roxas, a cold wall seems to fall between them as his face becomes emotionless. A perfect poker face…wait, was that Setzer's belt Luxord was wearing?_

"_What are you doing here?" Roxas asks. _

"_Well, you see, my apartment building is somewhere two blocks over and I was just taking a stroll but I don't think that's what you meant now, is it?" Luxord answers, an annoying grin upon his face._

_(Annoying bastard.)_

"_It gets tiring traveling around so much doesn't it…" Luxord continues to talk, musing to himself. For a moment, he pauses, mouth opening to say something else, when he stops. Then, with a sigh, he pushes himself off the wall and starts to walk away. "Maybe I'll see you one day again…Roxas."_

_And as Luxord walks off, Roxas suddenly seems to remember._

_That's right. His…friends…were waiting for him._

* * *

His eyes narrow, the blue depths seeming to freeze.

"I…can feel it," Sephiroth says slowly, his tone suddenly curious. He tilts his head, getting another look at Roxas. "You're like him, aren't you…A Nobody."

Roxas just shrugs.

"Does it matter?" He asks blandly. "After all…"

**Claannnggg!**

The sound of metal against metal echoes in the air. Roxas meets Sephiroth's gaze calmly, not moving back an inch as his keyblades holds up against Sephiroth's masamune.

"…I'm going to be the one to defeat you." He finishes.

Sephiroth's face has changed somehow, his blue eyes glittering, almost feral, almost excited.

And before Roxas can even blink, Sephiroth is attacking.

"So, Cloud is sending some boy to battle his own demons?" He asks, an amused grin playing on his face, not seeming to even care about winning or losing.

"Wrong…Cloud's friends are helping him." Roxas narrows his eyes, and continues on in a condescending voice. "Not like you'd understand."

Sephiroth's grin only widens.

"It makes no matter to me. Defeating me is meaningless. No matter how many times I fall, his darkness will keep calling me back."

Roxas jumps back and dodges another attack before going into another parry of slashes and combos.

"Yeah? Well…I have faith in him."

"That's right!" A new voice calls. Wait…that voice…and that shuriken…Yuffie?

A black blur passes by him…Tifa?

"What are you guys doing here?" He finds himself asking in wonder.

Yuffie gives him a quick grin.

"Well, you didn't think we'd let you get all the credit now, did ya?" She says cheerfully, catching her shuriken without looking. "Now let's go kick this guy's butt! Only we are allowed to diss Cloud! Wait, are those keyblades?"

With renewed energy, he twirls his weapons around.

"Pretty much. I'll explain later," Roxas quickly says. Yuffie nods.

"Gotcha."

* * *

"Hey Sora, ready to go home?" Riku asks. Sora doesn't answer, his gaze distant. Riku tries again. "Sora?"

Sora jumps, startled.

"Riku! Hehe, didn't hear you there…" He says, his voice somewhat distracted. Riku sighs.

"Alright. What's bugging you?"

Sora grins sheepishly.

"Is it that obvious?" He asks.

"Just a bit. So, what's wrong?"

Sora lets out a long breath.

"I don't know…somehow, I feel different. Like…my heart got torn out and was replaced with another?" He pauses for a moment, a grimace coming over his face as he realizes what he just said. Quickly, he switches topic. "Hey Riku, do you know who Namine is?"

Riku raises an eyebrow.

"Namine?" Riku repeats, wondering. The name sounded familiar…yet…he couldn't place it. "No. Why?"

"Well…In Jiminy's journal, the only sentence there was 'Thank Namine'." Sora looks up to Riku with bright eyes. "Who knows? Maybe this Namine saved my life!"

Riku just gives Sora a look.

"Yeah. Sure."

* * *

"**Roxas, watch out!"**

* * *

"Wait wait wait…So you're saying, that we went through Emo Dude's study…for this one paragraph? It doesn't even make sense! 'Results indicate that it's possible that resources of light may or may not have to come from a centralized source. If one is to believe in the theory of Umbra Synchronicity Transfer…' What the hell is that?" Xigbar complains.

Cloud narrows his eyes.

"It's science. Figure out the answer yourself." He says shortly. And before Xigbar can say another word, Cloud has opened up a corridor of darkness and is back in Hollow Bastion, back home.

It was much too silent.

* * *

"**Roxas, watch out!"**

_When had Aerith gotten there…?_

_And as Roxas turns around, he sees it: Sephiroth descending from above, the sword plunging into Aerith's stomach._

_And he's just frozen as it happens._

_(The__**blood**__, the blood is too much, and it's just pouring out, like water, like rain…)_

"_AERITH!"_

_Who's yelling?_

_Is it him? Tifa? Yuffie?_

"_Pity. Cloud doesn't even try to protect these so-called friends of his. That's no fun now is it." _

_As Sephiroth disappears, Roxas doesn't even move. _

_Yuffie and Tifa has rushed past him, taking Aerith's body, cradling it, trying to heal her with potions._

_They're saying things. They're sayings things but he can't really hear them._

_Why is Aerith looking at him? Why do her eyes seem so dim, so dead, so…why is she crying?_

_Why is she crying?_

"_So…ree…" _

_Who spoke?_

_Who knows?_

_He didn't know how it happened, but somehow, Aerith had died before his eyes._

* * *

Somehow, Yuffie had ended up crying on his shoulder, his left shoulder drenched completely with her tears.

She holds onto him tight, grumbling and complaining about how uncomfortable he was, how he was too bony, how he needed more muscle.

And somehow, he found himself holding onto her just as tightly. Even if it was just some small comfort, he found that he couldn't let go of her warmth, he couldn't let go of the small support she gave him…

He felt so broken.

He felt so lonely, so useless, so…dead.

"Hey Roxas…Your heartbeat…it's nice." Yuffie murmurs softly in between her hiccups. She moves her head and nestles into his chest. "Yeah…Comforting."

He had a hearbeat…?

And then it hits him.

What irony.

What beautiful irony of it all.

* * *

"Hey…You alright?"

Roxas doesn't even have to look up to know it's Cloud.

He gives off a dry laugh, burning his already hoarse throat.

"Yeah…Just fine."

He looks out the window and hates how the sun is so bright.

Hollow Bastion. Empty Guard.

What a fitting name.

"**After all…**_**I'm alive**_."

End.

* * *

AN: I promised that I'd get this done before New Years...so...Happy New Year everyone! I hope you guys all made wonderful and thoughtful solutions. After all, I think the New Year is the time to think about what you really want in life. It made me realize that actually I really didn't know.

I realize the ending is a bit rushed, but I suppose I just wanted this story done with. Sorta selfish, so maybe you call can imagine happier endings. (Yes, Aerith did die for the sake of an unhappy endings. Totally last minute thing.) Yeah, after a few weeks, I'm probably going to delete this. But writing this has been a wonderful experience so...thank you for reading.


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